Unpaid carer was 'terrified' at new responsibility

A husband who became his wife's full-time carer after she suffered a stroke says community support helped the couple rebuild their lives.

John Maxwell, 74, from Soham, Cambridgeshire, has cared for his wife Carole, 71, since she had a brain haemorrhage that nearly killed her.

Cambridgeshire County Council is preparing to approve a new strategy aimed at supporting unpaid carers like John.

He said he was "absolutely terrified" when he first brought his wife home after the stroke, but said there was "a lot more support than I realised".

The couple, who moved to Soham 40 years ago to farm, had been enjoying their retirement until Carole's stroke, which caused her to develop epilepsy.

She spent months in specialist hospital care before being discharged.

Although she regained her physical mobility, John said the stroke left Carole lacking motivation and changed the person she had been before her illness.

"So everything has to be done," said John, who also pays a carer to visit every other day.

"You do get a lot of support from the community, or certainly you do in Soham," he said.

The couple go to regular meetings at Soham Town Rangers Social Club and support groups put on by Caring Together Charity, which supports carers in Cambridgeshire, Peterborough and Norfolk.

"We couldn't survive socially if it wasn't for these volunteers," he said. "We can try and have some sort of a life after what was a dreadful time."

John said there were still challenges.

"I missed an important hospital appointment [for myself] because Carole had a seizure and there was nothing I could do about that," he said.

"I tried to explain but you end up at the bottom of the queue."

More than 52,000 people in Cambridgeshire are providing unpaid care, data from the 2021 Census shows.

But many are still not recognising themselves as carers, according to a new county council strategy.

The council's refreshed All-Age Carers Strategy said support services needed to do more to identify carers earlier, improve access to information and help prevent people reaching crisis point.

The authority said earlier identification was important to ensure they got support before their own health and wellbeing suffered.

Charities believe many more carers remain hidden because people often did not recognise themselves as carers until they reached breaking point.

Miriam Martin, the chief executive of Caring Together, said: "We've taken calls from quite desperate people who've been caring for years and just aren't coping."

She said healthcare professionals could do more to identify carers, as well as people in the community.

"It may sound silly but lots of conversations happen in everyday places, like hairdressers or cafes, where there's an opportunity to open the door for somebody," she said.

"If we could all make it our job a little bit more to identify a carer, we could help many more people."

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