What students wish they knew before university

News imageAlly Cheung Ally Cheung is smiling in a city centre. She is wearing a white vest and sat outside a restaurant. Ally Cheung
Ally Cheung said she found uni difficult at first because of the big drinking culture

As thousands of young people prepare to leave home for university, students say the biggest challenges are often the ones that happen outside the lecture theatre.

For Grace Williamson, who has just completed her first year at university in Edinburgh, learning to live with other people was one of the biggest adjustments.

"I think sharing space without your family is always going to be fundamentally kind of weird because everyone has different routines. One of my house mates used to shower at like 1 am."

Grace said joining societies and attending Freshers' Week helped her settle in, but loneliness was her biggest challenge.

"I found the parts where I was by myself the most intimidating."

Being away from home and alone with her thoughts was difficult at times, she said, but the Instagram reels her mother posted helped her feel connected to family.

She also found herself relying on a cookbook created by her mother, Bristol chef Claire Thomson, before she left for university.

Grace and her three housemates used it while cooking and eating together.

"None of us came to uni with a huge toolkit," she said. "The book provided a baseline [for me]."

News imageSam Folan Claire Thomson is smiling and leaning across a kitchen island. Sam Folan
Claire Thomson made short cooking videos for her daughter while she was at university

Before Grace left home, Claire began making recipe videos to help her daughter learn how to cook for herself.

The videos proved popular online and eventually became a cookbook, Dear Grace, which combines simple recipes with advice on navigating life away from home.

"Grace left home with a duvet, a pillow, a big bag of books and a big box of groceries, and I just thought 'can she cook and is she going to be ok?'" Claire said.

Thomson, a chef and author of 11 food books, said the book goes beyond just cooking.

It includes advice on stocking a cupboard, sharing meals, returning late from a night out and finding a launderette.

She said cooking was an important life skill that could save students money and help them build friendships.

"It's a manifesto on leaving home," she said. "It's a love letter to motherhood."

Coping with loneliness and anxiety at university

Kimberley Fuller, clinical director of Sisu Therapeutic Services and a specialist in adolescent psychotherapy, said many first-year students experience similar feelings.

The key thing students need to realise, she said, is that "they are not alone".

"If you are anxious or nervous about being left alone then there are other people looking for the same interaction."

While every student's experience is different, Fuller said many of the challenges of university stem from encountering new situations for the first time.

Getting things wrong is inevitable, she said.

Her advice is for students to speak to someone they trust, whether that is student services, a flatmate, a lecturer or a parent.

"The more you keep things to yourself the more anxious you become."

News imageKimberley is smiling and wearing a green jumper with a black t-shirt underneath.
Kimberley Fuller said it is important parents try to listen without judgement

For international students, the transition often means adapting to a new culture as well as living independently.

Abdulbasit Yeeken travelled from Nigeria to study a robotics undergraduate degree at UWE when he was 18.

He is now 24 and currently studying the same subject for his masters in Scotland.

He said everyday life in the UK came with some surprises.

"I've had past experiences back home where I've washed clothes by my bare hands.

"A lot of people back home still do that," he said.

Yeeken said he was amazed by having access to washing machines and tumble dryers.

News imageAbdulbasit Yeeken Abdulbasit is standing in a garden wearing a blue t-shirt with a print that says California on it. Abdulbasit Yeeken
Yeeken is studying a masters degree in robotics

But household chores were not the only big transition for him.

The weather, food and distance from home were among his biggest challenges.

"There are cultural differences, what's normal in your country might not be normal here," he said.

"The UK has more of an individualistic society as back home we are more communal."

Cultural differences

Ally Cheung, 20, a second-year veterinary science student at the University of Bristol, said she also had to adapt to cultural differences after moving from Hong Kong.

She found Freshers' Week challenging because "there's a huge drinking culture in the UK" whereas where she is from university "is all about studying."

"I told people that I didn't really drink, which people respected."

But she added: "You have to acknowledge that drinking is a huge part of English culture. So it's something you need to adapt to."

How parents can help students prepare

The University of the West of England (UWE) advises parents to help build their children's confidence before they move away by teaching everyday skills, from cooking simple meals to doing laundry.

Once term begins, calls and messages can provide reassurance while still allowing students the space to become independent.

Fuller said parents should listen without judgement and remind their children that anxiety and mistakes are a normal part of adjusting to university life.

"It's encouraging them to kind of have some agency in making some choices," and "help them to go and talk to somebody."

She added that the transition can be challenging for parents too.

The role of a parent changes quite sharply because problems at university now need to be dealt with by the student rather than the parent, "which can be hard for them [parents]".

Fuller said some parents also experience "dual anxiety", where a child leaving home triggers anxieties of their own.

While every student's experience is different, Fuller said many of the challenges of university stem from encountering new situations for the first time.

Getting things wrong is inevitable, she said.

Her advice is for students to speak to someone they trust, whether that is student services, a flatmate, a lecturer or a parent.

"The more you keep things to yourself the more anxious you become."

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